56. Slow and Steady

The sun blinded me as I left the locker room. Squinting, I saw everyone headed over the the track. I waddled my 11 year old body over and stood at the back of the group in sheer terror. I'd usually gotten by in gym class by staying out of the way and moving around enough to where I wouldn't be called out. Fortunately the day we were supposed to climb the rope I'd been sick. But this day lady luck had forsaken me like the fickle shrew she is. I gazed at the rows of hurdles and pondered how I was going to get enough speed or height to launch my girth over them. I wasn't an athletic kid. I was a fatty, and the other kids made sure I knew it. I went up to the coach and feigned illness. It was my only shot. Out of what could only be a mixture of compassion and pity, he let me sit out. Everyone there knew what was going on, so I walked away in fat kid shame. And it's back.

I'm not still hugely overweight, but recently I've been feeling like every hurdle I encounter has smacked me in the face. I'll use this site as an example. NinetyNineGifts is one of the best things I've done in a long time, and I am growing tremendously from it. But I also feel like I'm overwhelmed and failing at it. I get behind on writing (currently by a week) and often have huge difficulty in identifying what my next task will be. I'm constantly trying to improve my writing, yet finding myself rushing to get caught up and not learning anything to get better at it. I'm just meeting deadlines... late. Many of the gifts that involve me developing new habits have been struggling. They are practically in an iron lung. I've had a goal to get the site on my own domain and to work to get a solid following but for various reasons I've been unable to plug away at either of those. I've been a little tempted to dust off my 5th grade acting hat and conjure up some sickness. Though if I really returned to my elementary school level of brain power I'd probably die of dysentery.

Obviously I need a different approach, and in truth I wish I'd taken one back then. I'm going to take a lesson from Simon Pegg in Run, Fatboy, Run (a surprisingly good movie, by the way). I'm going to just go do it! I wish I'd tried the hurdles back then. Because in the end, it really doesn't matter what other people think or even if you fail. It may sound cliché, but the only people who fail are the people who don't try. No matter what the outcome you gain experience and growth. That alone makes it worth it.

Today's gift is a renewed determination to keep on truckin' - just like me friend pictured above. Why? Because there are a few things that I have to believe: tortoise beats hare, good triumphs over evil, and every fat kid has his day. Cake is optional.