41. Benefit of the Doubt (Especially To Siblings)

Me & My Beautiful Sister (getting along)

I stepped away from the people I was with to answer the phone. "Hello? Hello??" A second later I heard my sister's voice, but it was breaking up with the signal. "Chri-, my --one isn't wor-ing righ-. It hasn't be-- f-- weeks. I need to get - -ew one, but since it's on yo-- plan I nee- you- --lp." It was hard to hear her, but I got the message.

"Ok. I'm kind of busy right now, but call me back in a little bit and we'll talk about it. Cool?" ............ "Hello?" ............. "Kat, can you hear me?? Just call me later." *click* I went about the rest of the day expecting to hear later. What I didn't know was that when she called me, she was on her way to the phone store to get another one, and she couldn't hear what I was saying. Uh-oh. Several hours later...

"Hey, your sister told me she got a new phone." Feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach, I replied, ".............what phone?" "I don't know, she said it's the newest smartphone they have." I instantly knew what phone it was, and regret to admit that I was MAD. Why? Because what my sister didn't know is that I've been looking at new phones and knew how each affected the monthly bill. I've been looking because mine is two years old, freezes several times a day, and is falling apart like those stinky, crumbly French cheeses. It's just not right. Anyway, the phone she got is the phone I wanted.

I sent her a text asking what happened and if she knew it increased the bill. She could sense my anger, and responded stating that she did know, that she didn't extended the contract, she paid for the phone with her own money, and that she was going to pay the difference monthly. I was glad to hear all of that, but was mad at her for not knowing something else - there is a spending limit on my plan, and the salesman who sold her this phone (which changes the plan and he wasn't authorized to do, and made me all kinds of angry) sold her the plan that put me just over this monthly limit. This means extra fees and extra risk to my credit.

As soon as I told her this, she apologized because she didn't know. The result? I felt like a total jerk. I was angry with her for something that she couldn't have possibly known. When you look at everything else, it's easy to see that she went out of her way to make sure it wouldn't affect me negatively. She bought a phone at full price out of her pocket so it wouldn't extend the contract. She made sure to know what the monthly difference was and planned on covering that. It's not her fault that the salesman didn't tell her about the limits or extra fees.

The most ironic thing about all of this? If I'd known she wanted that phone I would have said go for it, even knowing about all the extra costs. I want my sister to have both a good phone and a phone she wants. She deserves it. She's pretty awesome. We used to fight a lot, and still disagree on much, but I'm really proud of the woman she's become and I'm glad I can call her my friend.

Okay, so what's the gift? It's giving people the benefit of the doubt. She didn't mean to cause me any of that stress, but that's not how I initially reacted. Luckily I caught it quickly, and she was gracious enough to forgive me. But other people might not be. Who knows? Best to stop and think through a situation before just reacting.

What about you? Have you ever been foolish because you didn't give someone the benefit of the doubt?