34. Embracing the Cost of Honor

Seeing my friend's name come up on the screen, I answered the phone with one free hand while wrapping a towel around my waist with the other. "Hey bro, I'm 10 seconds away from getting a shower - what's up?" The reply, "Dude, I'm engaged!" I'd actually already been made aware of this fact, but verbally rejoiced with him again while securing my elusive towel. Whether sensing my predicament or allowing providence to play a part, he quickly got to the reason for his phone call. I was asked if I would be a groomsman for my good friend. I heartily replied, "Absolutely!" The instant I said this, my brain completely shifted gears to this: We unfortunately live in a culture where honor is not only underrated, it is often seen only as something else entirely - an expense to ourselves.

I'm nearing 26 years of age. While a lot of people I know are still searching for love, many friends of mine have already gotten married or are on that path. Not that I'm jealous or anything. *wink* Despite having known so many who've tied the knot, this is somehow the first time I've ever really been asked to be part of a ceremony. Once I was asked to fill in at a wedding I was not even able to attend, but somehow I got the feeling that I was the last one on the list to be asked before the family's golden retriever. My inability to attend was not the only reason I declined the role. But this time is the real deal and above all else I feel honored - with full knowledge of what it entails.

As many of you know, I'm a full time student with no set income. This fall I will need to travel halfway across the country, rent a tuxedo, and pay whatever other expenses come with filling this role. But even if by some turn of events I have to eat rice for a month in order to afford it, I don't mind at all. Why? Because unlike most people when asked to do anything, I don't see this as an obligation. I know that my friend is asking me because he wants me to share this day of his life with him, and there is nothing else I'd rather do!

I think that we often forget that honor is something that is neither easily nor freely given. When we look to the past and recognize men like Abraham Lincoln, Jim Elliot, M.L.K. Jr., or any number of others that are considered worthy of honor we must instantaneously recognize that it does not come for nothing. These men earned respect at great cost to themselves. More importantly they did not pay the price in order to achieve the praise of others, but because they were compelled to fill a needed role.

My own as a groomsman pales in comparison, but only on a large scale. To my friend it is important, and so it is to me as well. Most attending the wedding will not know me from any other guy, but I don't think that really matters. I'll be there to support and celebrate my friend, and he's honored me by asking me to play a small part. So what if I have to pay way too much to wear another man's pants for a few hours? Besides, I might even get to escort some pretty lady down the aisle. Who knows when that will happen again?

Here's the real challenge -  relating this to daily life. What are the small areas that are presented to us that we can use to cultivate an appreciation for honor? Next time something is asked of us, let's not evaluate it by what benefit it is to ourselves, but what benefit it is to others involved. Let's see it as an opportunity to do the honorable thing. Let's aim to be men and women worthy of it.

Congratulations to Philip & Jennifer! Looking forward to them developing a great life together!

Mazeltov!