36. Cultivating Wit: Part II

Several years ago I was hanging out with a group of friends and we were all having a blast. My best friend was among those gathered. As we all sat around talking and making jokes everyone found themselves being cut off by their own laughter. This was in part because of my friend's diverse humor but mostly because he was so quick to the draw. The thing is, he cultivated this ability to captivate others. So now I'm working on mine!

35. Reflecting on Progress (or Lack Thereof...)

...I'm thinking...I'm thinking...

"Chris how are you doing with all of this stuff?” I got this text a few days ago, and it's a question that I knew was inevitable. One that I've been asking myself the last several days. I'm just over 1/3 of the way through the 99 Gifts project. Between my coursework for school, working on the project, writing the blog, and trying to figure out the next steps of my existence, I've been rather busy the last few weeks. As such, I've not had a lot of time to revisit many of the goals and habits I've been trying to form over the last month or so. That is today's gift: a hard, honest look at what I've set out to do and how it's going so far. I'll only list the gifts that require continued action.

34. Embracing the Cost of Honor

Seeing my friend's name come up on the screen, I answered the phone with one free hand while wrapping a towel around my waist with the other. "Hey bro, I'm 10 seconds away from getting a shower - what's up?" The reply, "Dude, I'm engaged!" I'd actually already been made aware of this fact, but verbally rejoiced with him again while securing my elusive towel. Whether sensing my predicament or allowing providence to play a part, he quickly got to the reason for his phone call. I was asked if I would be a groomsman for my good friend. I heartily replied, "Absolutely!" The instant I said this, my brain completely shifted gears to this: We unfortunately live in a culture where honor is not only underrated, it is often seen only as something else entirely - an expense to ourselves.

33. No Rest For The Weary?

I have been working like crazy recently, especially for the last month. All with no compensation. As an unemployed student, I feel much pressure to justify my worth to others. In fact, I just spent nearly an hour working on today's post to say just that. As I was proofing it, I decided to scrap the whole thing. Why? Because this is what I want to say about today's gift: Some times it's okay to just take a break. If you know that you have worked hard, don't let others tell you differently. Tonight, instead of working extremely hard to write an article like I did about Leon or my dad [those each took a few hours to do well], I did something I've not allowed myself to do in a long time. I took a break. Maybe I don't have a great piece of writing for today. But I know this - remembering the importance of taking time to relax is a quality that would make all men better. Sure I could have tried to make this point very eloquently. But I'd rather embrace the message. Until tomorrow, folks.

PS - I'm benefiting from the rest and coming back in full force tomorrow. Hopefully you'll all still be with me!

32. My Dad is ___________

There are some days that stick in your memory no matter how much time has passed. One of my first ones was when I was in first grade. The day began like any other but soon the room was teeming with large, unfamiliar men trying to navigate their way through a sea of tiny desks and high pitched voices. Order was soon restored, and one by one these men regaled the class with tales of police work, fighting fires, and corporate conquest while their progeny beamed with pride. Meanwhile my six year old self sat in the back and began to quietly cry. The teacher noticed, and edged her way over. Putting her arm around me she asked where my dad was. My simple response: "I don't know." She had no clue the depth of those words.

31. An Unexpected Laundromat Encounter

I think I'm the only person I know who can successfully make 8 days worth of clothes last a while longer without smelling rank. But time was up and today was wash day. Everything I own amounts to one large load, so I filled my duffel bag and started my adventure. Normally there is at least one person there who catches my attention. For those who don't know, laundromats are just funny like that. Today... not so much; until shortly before I left. What I'd failed to notice was that while I was reading, a rather attractive young woman (who was in fact the only other occupant of the building) was throwing furtive glances my way. Once I dropped the book and began folding my clothes, I picked up on it immediately. Ironically though, the encounter I'm speaking of was not with this vivacious beauty. It was with the man who came in the room just after I'd noticed her.

30. Music & Mirth - To Go

Tonight I decided to treat myself to a delicious pizza. It was cheaper to pick it up so I went out to brave the rush hour traffic to save a few bucks. In the midst of the chaos I turned up the stereo and calmed down to a little Jack Johnson. Perhaps it was the simple uplifting melody or maybe the angry faces of other music-less drivers, but I was reminded of how much a spontaneous ditty can change one's demeanor. Personally, I'd rather be happy and [if possible] spread that to others. I'm already somewhat decent at playing guitar, but that is a cumbersome instrument that isn't always at hand. Plus most people know enough to want to prove they do. Instead, I've decided to look for a more portable instrument that I can just whip out and play for the enjoyment of others!

29. Running For The Rest Of Us

Today I discovered that I'm extremely out of shape. A goal of mine for 2011 is to run more. This was only the second time I've gone out for a jog since the ball dropped in Times Square so my lack of an exquisite physique wasn't surprising. What is surprising to me is that it's not my muscles that are hurting - it's my heart and lungs! Having avoided any consistent form of cardiovascular exercise for a year has taken a toll on my stamina. So while thus far I've been mostly focused on improving my mind, it's become apparent that it's worth taking some opportunities to get healthier. Gift 29 - tips for getting back into running.

28. Intro to Art Appreciation (Not the Class)

A Wind Beaten Tree, Van Gogh

In the past I've been known as one who is more adverse to knowledge of the finer arts. The reason for this is actually simple, and has nothing to do with the subject matter itself. I was turned off to art because of the 'knowledgeable' individuals who came across as pretentious, pompous, and prissy. This social realm was no place for a peasant such as I. These were people who would be unable to find the humor in Malawi's recent ban on flatulence. Today I decided to circumvent arrogance and continue on my quest for well roundedness, delving into the realm of art - specifically paintings.

27. One Milkshake, Two Speakers & the Infinite Night Sky

This road has given solace more days that I remember.

Recently I've been busy. Very busy. I myself find this statement ironic given my status as an unemployed student. I spend nearly all of my time in front of a computer, and rarely venture out into the public realm. But the truth is, even though I sometimes beat myself up for it, I know that I've not been idle. It's just that my brain is the portion of my body that has taken the beating as of late. Mentally overwhelmed, I took the advice of a friend. Today I decided to treasure life's simple pleasures. I remembered the one thing that has always been calming to me. As soon as I got a chance, I was out the door.

Why You Do the Things You Do by Tim Clinton & Gary Sibcy

This is a book that I read for my marriage counseling class. Despite being assigned reading, I am sincerely glad that I read it and now own a copy of it. I highly and emphatically recommend it to anyone and everyone - regardless of their relationship status. I took away more from it than I ever anticipated.

The premise of this book is not a matter of deciphering what, in any certain circumstance, causes quarrels between you and another. Rather it's aim is to help the reader to understand himself on a deeper, more personality-centered level in order to reveal why certain reactions occur within. More importantly it addresses that there are almost always events and triggers from the past that, if worked through, can help anyone feel more comfortable & secure relating to others.

26. Remembering the Good Times

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the facts of life." Tootie and her pals were lucky enough to grow up in a false reality where this lesson was already learned. Nevertheless it's absolutely correct. We all have a lot of reasons to remember bad times. Often times it overshadows our ability to remember the good, myself included - more on that here if you're interested. Today a friend challenged me to make a list of good memories from my childhood, unaware of the depth that proposition carried for me. There is a certain power in intentionally remembering the good times. That's today's gift.

25. Increased Vocabulary - Increased Wit

By now you probably know I'm a fan of reading. I'm also a fan of most all media - especially if it contains well written dialogue. This is why I enjoy television shows such as House and Psych, just to name two. How many times have you been in a situation where you wished you knew just the perfect, witty thing to say? Unfortunately we don't have a team of writers to script our lines [if we do, mine have been on strike for much longer than one season]. What we do have is the ability to do just what those writers have for ourselves - master the English language. To do that, increased vocabulary is a must.

24. Multi-Vitamins - First Step to Better Nutrition

Nutrition in America is horrible*. This isn't because of a lack of nutritious food. It's because we have been conditioned to eating already prepared, pre-packaged food. Despite the fact that all of these products are required by law to post nutritional information on the package, most people fail to actually turn them around and read. The most surprising thing you'll find is the lack of vitamins - which our bodies need to function well. Ideally, this will be remedied by quitting cold turkey, buying fresh vegetables & meats not riddled with hormones, and cooking food fresh daily. But that's both time consuming and expensive. The latter is my obstacle. In the meantime, I am going to do what I can by supplementing with a multi-vitamin.

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

I just finished this book. A few months ago I saw the movie that was made from it. Perhaps it is my own past, or my current wanderings, but the life of Chris McCandless strikes me to the very core. It is likely the most poignant story I have ever read. Throughout it I found myself pausing and falling into deep thought, questioning & searching myself for answers. What follows is a brief attempt to put order to my thoughts, though I fear words shall do them a grave injustice.

23. Keeping a Journal

For years I have wanted to be that guy who has kept a journal and has elaborately written of his life; composed a story for himself that other wish to hear. But the fact is every time I've tried I either have no idea what to write or I pour out my thoughts and concerns in a way reminiscent of angst. Not something I'd be proud of, so I have shied away from keeping written record of it. Two things have happened recently that have changed my mind. First, I realized that the last time I journaled I was in the midst of teenage angst. That's changed. Second, I have determined to become a better writer and a good friend has challenged me that in addition to writing this blog for others, I should also write for myself. So today, I'm starting a journal. I'm somewhat skeptical on how it will turn out, but I'm excited nonetheless.

This gift I need some help with - what tips have you found that could help with the journaling process?

22. Sparked.com - Volunteering Made Quick and Easy

A goal that I have set for myself is to start volunteering. I know that many people have this desire, but have never made it a priority. For the last few weeks I've been searching for opportunities to volunteer. However, I have been finding challenges that are unique to my situation, that are probably also relevant to those with busy schedules. The best place to find volunteer opportunities is to look within groups you're already a part of: churches, community centers, schools, and even employers often have volunteer programs set up and need help. Other than that, most of the places I've found want a commitment of a certain amount of time - often a minimum of 3-6 months. My nomadic existence leaves me somewhat outside of the range of these opportunities. Nevertheless... I've found an alternative!

21. Starting an Artistic Hobby

I love the idea of being a Renaissance Man. The simple fact that I'm so familiar with this term when so many I know have never heard it confirms this fondness. One of the many aspects of a well rounded man is an effort toward creativity. Great men of the Enlightenment age wore many hats: scientist, philosopher, teacher, inventor, and often... artist. Leonardo DaVinci is the poster child for a Renaissance Man. While I'm no where near a level to create a masterpiece, I have to start somewhere.

20. The Bucket List

I enjoy telling stories. It is something that I want to get better at. I've learned that generally it is what one has done and experienced in life that makes for the best tales. It has often been said that the people who have the most interesting lives are those who live them on purpose. This does not necessarily mean overly ambitious people, simply those who decide the things they want in life and go for them. In order to do this, many people have taken the time to write our a list of things they want to do before they die. A few years ago there was a movie that popularized this idea - The Bucket List. Gift 20 is to work on mine.

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

Treasure Island is an extremely enjoyable book that I read through in just a couple of days. While it's generally a book considered for children, and indeed Stevenson did compose it from tales he made up for his son, I nevertheless found it poignant as a 25 year old man. Something about the spirit of this book resonates in my heart, as I'm sure it does every man.

I found myself immersed in a tale of adventure and betrayal; courage and deception; valor and vice. I am most intrigued by the character of Long John Silver. Stevenson seemed to capture the extremes of man's benevolence and his nefariousness in a single man.The biting edge of this character is that we are all often within what Silver was without: charming, thoughtful, and caring when needed; selfish, headstrong, and vicious when left to our own devices. How easily we can fall into this. Yet there are the heroes that we can all aspire to be like. Those few who stood their ground against the pirate mutiny, against insurmountable odds, and came out victorious.

This is a simple tale, and there are no huge lessons I took away from it. Thus, I at the moment do not have Nevertheless, this is one I intend on adding to my library for my own children someday. I may or may not also read it again a few times myself.

19. Budgeting for Survival AND Growth

Most people are extremely wasteful with their money. I understand wants and have often indulged my own; but never to the extent of not being able to pay my bills. I cannot stand when I see people do this. For the last six months I have lived a transient, nomadic, minimalist existence and am a full time student with no steady income. During this time my finances have been obliterated, yet I have somehow not missed a single bill. While I can sing the praises of minimalism all day, the last half year has reinforced an important life lesson: no matter how much spending you are able to cut out of your life, money is still important. You still need it to live. Legally, at least. I currently find myself unemployed, with less student loan money than anticipated, and a list of expenses coming up over the next few months. The good news is that I am getting a sizable tax return - the only benefit of paying over twice your salary for tuition. This money is going to have to get me through the next few months. Enter Gift 19 - the discipline of a budget.

18. Gratitude Expressed

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
       ~Gladys Bronwyn Stern, writer
Yesterday got me thinking about what I am thankful for; and who. We go through life only with the help of others. We can only hope that we are in turn able to help others. In my few years so far on this earth I've had the rare honor of being able to speak personally into the lives of many young men and women. I've spent countless nights talking with them: giving advice, counsel, and comfort. I have only attempted to give what I often needed and some times received.

17. Gratitude Realized

Panama 2005. I carried that down a
mountain. On my back.

I once lived for a couple of months with a native tribe in the Panamanian jungle. This wasn't like a bones-through-the-nose-wearing-a-loin-cloth-that-reveals-a-little-too-much kind of tribe [anymore] but it was primitive. No electricity. No running water. They lived in thatched huts made from the materials they found in the jungle. While there I helped to dig new latrines. Our group climbed a mountain and gathered palm branches used to make the huts. We had to braid the branches together and carry them down the mountain on our backs. These people had, by our society's standards, nothing to be grateful for. They constantly had to work hard to survive, had little to eat, and pooped in an open hole in the ground. Yet even in those circumstances I found people who were genuinely happy - because they appreciated what they did have. I in my infinite wisdom forgot this lesson until today.

I've been feeling kind of down the last few days. Those who know me personally can attest that the last year of my life has been hellacious. Among other things, I've lost my job, had my emotions seriously messed with, been robbed of almost everything I owned, had my savings cleaned out, & have became a transient adventurer (translation : glorified hobo). The truth is, I kind of like that last part. But concerning the rest, I understandably have come through a little bit of depression which has been trying to resurface. Too often misfortune is all we allow ourselves to see. As such, today's gift is gratitude. It is needed now more than ever.

16. Starting Toward A Long Desired Goal

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.                                                                                  - Mark Twain

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Everyone has goals that they ignore. They usually come in the form of some desire that we don't take the time or energy to fulfill. We rationalize them away by telling ourselves that we don't really need to do them. The sad truth is: we really don't. They aren't essential. We can very easily run our course through life by doing just what we need to get by. But what is life without doing the things that we want to do? Gift 16 is to start working toward a goal I've had for awhile but have never really started - until now.

15. Improved Posture - How To Actually Do It

Yesterday I educated myself on good posture and the risks of avoiding it. As I shared, there are not only numerous benefits to having good posture, but also serious risks posed to those without it. A very brief recap of what good posture should look like: keep your ears, shoulders, and hips aligned.

Today's gift: I'm trying to figure out how to effectively go about fixing my impending hump-backed wretchedness. The two biggest problem areas for people are: (1) maintaining good posture during the many hours of being seated and (2) dealing with the muscle pain of trying to correct poor posture.

14. Intro to Posture: Look Better & Be Healthier

We've all had that moment when we are out in public and with a quick sideways glance we catch the eye of someone that we recognize and have yet never seen quite that way. There, in whatever window or mirror caught your eye, is the full length reflection of yourself as you appear to others. The image is just short of startling. What you are so used to seeing when at home while making yourself look good is just not what other people see. Why? It's your posture.

We inherently and unconsciously know that having proper posture makes us look better - so when we are in front of the bathroom mirror we instinctively assume it. But then we walk away and forget. Out of sight out of mind. And the result is more problematic than we would imagine.

13. Book Review: Lessons Learned

Recently a friend who has been reading through this journey has posed a challenge to me. He said that since I am determined to read more, it would be interesting to keep a record of what I learn from each book that I read. So that's exactly what I'm going to do! Why? Because even things that you read for enjoyment get your brain thinking, and studies show that sharing/teaching something is a much more effective way of retaining information than reading alone. Gift 13: Sharing what I've read; retaining the lesson myself.

Within the posts, you'll start to see the thoughts and lessons I've taken from what I'm reading. Feel free to explore them and contribute! I'll also be keeping a list of what I've shared for easy reference.

Are there any books that have really gotten you thinking? What are they?

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

We've all heard the tale of Jekyll & Hyde... sort of. But very few have actually read the story. I recently did, and though the book is a quick read I was put into quite a bit of thought afterward - much more than I'd expected. For the 0.1% of the population that hasn't heard this tale, I'm about to give it up. So you may wish to stop reading.... now.

We come in the end of the short novel to learn that the respectable Henry Jekyll and the murderous Edward Hyde are one in the same. Jekyll's dying confession recounts his revelation of the dual parts of his personhood - the side that strives for good and the side that maliciously desires only for itself. Jekyll discovered a potion that would allow him to slip between the two. But eventually he was unable to make more of the potion and was lost to Hyde. I've seen critics regard this as a novel addressing schizophrenia. After reading it, I can't agree with that.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The Road was recommended to me by a friend, and I went in not knowing what to expect. While I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about the book, I can say with all honestly that it is extremely well written. I was compelled to keep reading even though I had other things I needed to do. I don't want to give away too much, but I will say this: It is about a father and his young son who are traveling across a desolate post-apocalyptic land while simply trying to stay alive. The book makes you think much about humanity and the depths to which it can fall. They come across come disturbing things that the man tries to keep the boy from seeing. It is this point that stuck out to me the most.

12. Make Time for a Friend - It's More Important Than Whatever Else You Planned

Today's post is not the one that I intended when I awoke this morning, but sometimes your priorities have to get shifted when something more important comes along. That's actually the whole point of today's gift - making time for people, whether or not it is convenient. Today I had a lot of homework to do. I did none of it. Part of this is because I chose to do other things with my time. Part of it is because other things required my time, regardless of what I'd scheduled.

11. Words of the Wise - Part Two

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 
                    - Proverbs 3:13-14

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I spoke last week about my affinity for the words of others. One of the fatal errors of man is that he insists upon learning everything himself. I've been in this category many times myself. But we truly should learn from the wisdom that has already been gathered and is simply awaiting our curiosity.

10. Evaluation. Introspection. Decisions.

Anyone who knows me well and knows how my brain reels will be able to attest to a truth about me - I am a restless soul. I feel the effects of this daily, and I've also seen it manifest itself in my actions. The longest I've ever held a single job is a year and a half. Even when I've been at the same company, I've been moved around. I just get bored and start to feel stuck - like I'm not where I belong and I must search out wherever that place is.

I'm sure that many people feel this way. It seems human nature. Yet, guided by either wisdom or folly, I've repeatedly found myself one of the few who habitually relinquish one role in search of the next. I was told a long time ago that my path would be different from that of most people. This may be where I initially found difficulty. Even this day, just as that, I yearn both to embrace the romantic notions of this idea and to reject them as the cliche thoughts of all young men. All I know is that I'm not yet satisfied.

9. To Do List - Stop Procrastinating

The clock I'm looking at currently reads 7:54pm. Thinking back on today, I have not accomplished nearly as much as I'd hoped to. In truth, this is an accurate statement for many days. I have a bad habit of procrastination. One suggestion I received for ways to improve myself was to develop a new habit. I figure I should attempt to develop one that will combat this bad habit at the same time. Gift Nine: the To Do List.